I always wanted children and assumed they would naturally come. I had finished medical school, residency and got married at age 37. Had I married at age 27, my infertility struggle might not have occurred, but marrying ten years later contributed significantly to the problem.
Had I known then, what we, as obstetrician/gynecologists know now, I would have headed for the nearest IVF center. But I wanted to get pregnant the “natural” way. Unfortunately, it never happened. I also had fibroid tumors, the bane of most African American and women of color. I had 2 surgeries to correct them, but the fallout was blocked tubes. So here I was, a board certified ob-gyn physician unable to have children.
I lamented for years, hid from people because I thought I was a pariah. A “barren woman” like my Jamaican father used to say. Damaged goods. But what I didn’t realize was the my womb was blocked for a higher purpose. My children would be born years later half-way around the world.
In 2008, I became a mother at age 54 to the most wondrous 2 little boys, ages 6 and 7. They are now almost 14 and 15. I am at the beginning of the 6th decade of my life raising teens and I rise to the challenge because it’s certainly worth it.
The greatest challenge about having children after age 50, whether through IVF or adoption is making certain that you stay healthy. Knowing that my sons’ future depends on my present health is a great motivating force. I willfully practice a healthy lifestyle for the sake of both my children and myself.
Every time I look at my sons, I am reminded of how blessed I am.Motherhood is a blessing, especially when it began after 50.